What does a Romance Planner do?

April 3rd, 2010

Most of you will be familiar with businesses like Greenacres and Home James that take care of the lawns, garden maintenance and housework for those who just don’t have time to do it themselves. I use these as examples as they are areas where it has become very common for people to enlist the help of an expert to ensure the job gets done amidst a very busy schedule.

A Romance Planner is not that much different. If you believe your relationship is as important as the lawns and the housework but find it difficult to allocate the time to plan special occasions a Romance Planner will take care of all the details for you. Your Romance Planner will either meet with you or talk with you over the phone to discuss what you and your partner like to do, whether you are celebrating a special occasion or celebrating “just because” (a great reason) and will also ask for some detail about your history together. This helps them to build a picture about what works for you as a couple and from there suggest the appropriate venues and or services for your romantic experience. A good Romance Planner won’t suggest anything that she (or he) has not personally assessed for quality, service and the “romance factor”, you need to know your experience will not only meet but exceed all of your expectations. For our clients working with us is their insurance policy that they are not going to walk into overpowering incense, the $5.00 wine of the month and the chocolate left over from Valentines day 05 when they were expecting beautiful candles, fine wine and decadent truffles! Your Romance Planner should also be able to assist with babysitters, pet minders, transport, flowers and anything else you need to ensure the gift of a Romantic Gesture to your special someone is a fantastic success that was achieved without stress.

You wouldn’t try and rewire your house if you didn’t understand what the red, white and yellow wires were for. Likewise if you are finding the idea of being more romantic a daunting concept, don’t hesitate to enlist the services of a good Romance Planner. It’s what we do each and every day and I can assure you working with one is a simple and painless process.

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Romance- The Definiton

February 12th, 2010

The dictionary defines romance as a love affair, to woo, a relationship between two lovers….

 To me that defines “A Romance” but what about romance or being romantic?  I don’t believe there is a definition for this.  Why?  Quite simply because when one person says I need more romance or I wish my husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend were more romantic what they are wishing for is likely to be very different from the next person that utters those same words.  For some of us the most romantic thing our special someone could do for us it to put a big red bow around the latest and greatest power tool or that time saving piece of kitchen equipment we have been coveting for ages.  For others it’s the obvious things that spring to mind when the topic of romance surfaces, flowers, romantic dinners a weekend away without the children.  For me romance is all about my husband planning something as a surprise.  I love surprises and the anticipation of wondering just what it is he has up his sleeve.  For others though not knowing what to expect is torture, no fun at all and therefore not in the least conducive to romance. 

 So how do you get romance right, when there is no set formula that fits all?  Well, while there is no blanket formula there are two things that are in my experience standard criteria when planning a romantic gesture.  The first is time and the second putting yourself in their shoes.  Whatever the Romantic Gesture is from Power tools to flowers from kitchen appliances to spa treatments the one common factor is time.  You have taken the time to organise something (and this is where the putting yourself in their shoes comes in) that you know they will enjoy.  That is selfless and that in my opinion is what romance is all about.

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Valentines Day

December 17th, 2009

What to do, where to go, how to impress on Valentines day?  These are questions asked by many in the lead up to Valentines Day so I thought a few words of advice might be of use…

 

Before we look at the what, where and how let’s consider why.  Why celebrate Valentines day at all?  Quite simply it’s a day that celebrates love and it is my opinion that such a celebration is worth being a part of.  I know it’s commercial, so is Mothers day and Fathers day, none the less I think it is magical to know that on the 14th of February every year couples are taking some time to celebrate their relationship.  We don’t need an excuse and I certainly hope it is not the only day you celebrate your connection but this is the day you share with those in love, those falling in love and those returning to love, enjoy it!

 

That said how to you make Valentines Day special?  First and foremost don’t leave it to the last minute!  I think because Valentines day is so close to Christmas planning often gets left until a day or two before the 14th of February.  The difficulty with that of course is that the restaurant you were hoping to go to will be (if it’s any good) fully booked, the shops you were planning to visit for that special gift will be crowded and you will more than likely end up settling for something quick, easy and therefore disappointing, plan ahead!

 

With that little lecture out of the way and the decision made to start planning early the next thing to think about is your budget.  This will be different for everyone and that is fine, so long as you know what it is you have a point to start from.  Whether your budget is large or small the key to success is thoughtfulness.  Put yourself in his or her shoes.  What says I love you in their language?  Build your Valentines Day gesture around that and it will be a day to remember.

 

A few Valentines day ideas to inspire….

 

Make a photo album with pictures of the two of you

Spend the morning in bed with champagne, crossiants and strawberries

Book a table at the restaurant were you first had a special meal together

Surprise them with a Romantic Gestures room theme

Valentines Day is on a Sunday this year, secretly arrange for your special someone to have Monday off work and head away on Sunday for a night at one of Romantic Gestures special venues

Have flowers delivered, yes it’s an oldie but it’s a goodie!

 

Aroha,

Jody

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Routine and Romance

November 3rd, 2009

Routine is a necessary part of our lives, without it we would never get to work on time, the kids would always be late for school and there would never be anything in the fridge for tea. It gives our lives the structure that we need to get through the myriad of tasks that we face each day, however, when it comes to romance it is a big no no! Routine and romance do not mix, it is the fastest way to kill the fun passion and excitement and is to be avoided at all times.

 

Here is an extreme example of routine and romance. Every Monday Mrs x meets Mr x at the door with the same words “I missed you today welcome home” followed by a kiss that lasts exactly 1.3 minutes. She then pours him a beer, lights the candles and serves him steak, salad and a baked potato (his favourite dish). They chat about their day, he goes upstairs and runs a bath which they share. At exactly 8pm it’s off to bed for an “early” night. Now meeting your husband at the door with a kiss and a promise is a great idea (now and again!) but as soon as you create a routine out of it all surprise, delight and expectation is gone. You have turned romance into a chore, don’t do it!

 

I have yet to meet anyone that likes housework and that is because it is a monotonous, thankless task that has to be done every week. For Mr and Mrs x, a romantic evening has become about as exciting as doing the laundry. Don’t let routine become the vacuum that sucks the life our of your relationship.

 

A note for those with children: I know a certain amount of routine is necessary to get time alone together. A regular date night is an example of this. To avoid a scenario anything like my fictitious one above simply make sure that although the day and time may always be the same mix up what you do with that time to help the passion and excitement remain.

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What does a Romance Planner Do?

September 14th, 2009

Most of you will be familiar with businesses like Greenacres and Home James that take care of the lawns, garden maintenance and housework for people who just don’t have time to do it themselves.  I use these as examples as they are areas where it has become very common for people to enlist the help of an expert to ensure the job gets done amidst a very busy schedule.

 

A Romance Planner is not that much different.  If you believe your relationship is as important as the lawns and the housework but find it difficult to allocate the time to plan special occasions a Romance Planner will take care of all the details for you.  Your Romance Planner will either meet with you or talk with you over the phone to discuss what you and your partner like to do, whether you are celebrating a special occasion or celebrating “just because” (a great reason) and will also ask for some detail about your history together.  This helps them to build a picture about what works for you as a couple and from there suggest the appropriate venues and or services.  A good Romance Planner won’t suggest anything that she (or he) has not personally assessed for quality, service and the “romance factor’.  For our clients this is their insurance policy that they are not going to walk into overpowering incense, the $5.00 wine of the month and the chocolate left over from Valentines day 05 when they were expecting beautiful candles, luxury accommodtion, fine wine and decadent truffles!  Your Romance Planner should also be able to assist with babysitters, pet minders, transport, flowers and anything else you need to ensure the Romantic Gesture you have arranged for your special someone is a fantastic success that was achieved without stress.

 

 You wouldn’t try and rewire your house if you didn’t understand what the red, white and yellow wires were for.  Likewise if you are finding the idea of being more romantic a daunting concept, don’t hesitate to enlist the services of a good Romance Planner.  It’s what we do each and every day and I can assure you working with one is a simple and painless process.

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Romance on a Shoestring.

August 27th, 2009

I have two wonderful romantic memories that stand out very clearly in my mind and I am sure always will.  One of them cost around $20.00 the other much more than that.  My point is that the dearer experience in no way diluted the memory of the less expensive one.  While it is wonderful to treat yourself to shear luxury when you can afford it, it’s more than possible to achieve Romance on a shoestring.

 

 Firstly go back to the post What is a Romantic Gesture so that you have your checklist in mind.  Now work out your budget and stick to it.  If you are doing something that is stretching you beyond what you can afford neither you or your special someone will have an enjoyable experience because you will be too busy worrying about how you are going to pay for it.  So with your budget in mind start planning and be creative.  Money can make it easier and quicker to organise something but  along with careful planning can really give the wow factor and make an occasion truly memorable.

 

A few simple date ideas:  Fish and chips with a bottle of wine at a nice quiet location can be very romantic.  Go to the extra effort of packing the picnic rug, wine glasses, some nice napkins (plain white tied with string and a sprig of lavender is a nice touch) and something sweet for after.  You may also like to include a gift, this can cost you nothing more that a bit of time to make a voucher giving a shoulder massage or car clean from you.

 

Find a spot where you can see the sunrise.  Check the weather forecast and choose a fine day to set the alarm and go for a drive.  If the budget stretches to it go out for breakfast on the way home then spend the rest of the morning in bed with the paper.

 

Set aside a little money each week so you can treat yourself without worrying about the budget from time to time.  You and your special someone are worth it.

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Resentment Flu

July 3rd, 2009

We all joke about Man Flu and how tough it is to cope with (sorry guys but you are hard work when you have a cold :-) .  While we can poke a bit of fun at our guys and their “Man Flu’s, Resentment Flu is a different story and needs to be taken seriously! Resentment Flu won’t kill you but it could kill your relationship so take note and be warned.

 

What are the symptoms? It starts with a tiny niggle, a little voice saying something like why do I always have to put out the rubbish or, so and so would never treats such and such the way I’m being treated. From there things can quickly get out of hand, that small niggle becomes an avalanche of resentment. You find yourself seething every time you do something for “that man” or “that woman”. After all you work hard, why can’t they do their share?

 

At the height of this flu you may find yourself unable to remember why you ever started a relationship with this lazy good for nothing so and so, and you will almost certainly be blind to anything that they do, do for you. If you let Resentment Flu go on this long it can be difficult if not impossible to recover, so look for the signs and catch it early.

 

Don’t panic though there are some successful cures for Resentment Flu. When you feel those tiny niggles begin to take hold have a good long think about what your partner/spouse does do around the house. You may always put the rubbish out but perhaps he/she always stacks the dishwasher. Then if it is really bothering you sit down and talk about it, don’t let things fester, that is how the flu takes hold! Never compare your relationship to someone else’s. You may see a relationship that is perfect, but who knows what happens behind closed doors. I heard a saying once that if we all put our problems out on the table we would probably want our own back. It’s a good thing to remember.

 

Lastly I find routine and resentment flu can go hand in hand. So make sure you mix up the chores and from time to time just leave them! Do something spontaneous and fun together instead. Sure the chores will still be there when you return but you will be able to tackle them with a much lighter heart. Good relationships are hard to find but can be easy to loose. Take care of the special someone in your life and ensure neither of you get “Relationship Sickness”.

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Car versus Relationship

June 17th, 2009

Do you spend more time taking care of your car than your relationship?  For a great number of us the answer to this question is yes.  Think about it, every night most of us garage our car to protect it from the elements.  The everyday elements and demands of life can put strain on our relationships so they too like your car need a little care and attention each day.  Random acts of affection and attention are a great way to achieve this.

 

Once a week on average we fill our cars with fuel and keep an eye on the water and oil.  If we don’t do this the car will let us down, perhaps leaving us stranded in the middle of no where.  Just like with your car if you don’t re-fuel your relationship on a regular basis you may find your self stranded and wishing you had taken some time to take care of what was important.  I recommend regular date nights as a great way to re-fuel.

 

What about insurance?  To own a car and not insure it against theft or damage is in my opinion asking for some major heart ache and financial hardship should something go wrong.  Your insurance provides you with peace of mind every time you get in your car or leave it unattended.  Like wise planning a special Romantic Occasion with love, thought and care acts as an insurance policy to protect your relationship from damage or theft!  My husband and I head away for a night or two four times a year.  This costs no more than the insurance, warrants and mechanics bills for two cars.  As a good relationship is far harder to replace than a car I believe this is an investment we should all be making.

 

So next time you hop in your car take a moment to think about your special someone.  Ask yourself, is it time for an insurance renewal, re-fuel or some protection from the elements?

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Romantic Ideas

June 16th, 2009

I know it can be difficult to keep the creativity flowing when planning your Romantic Gestures.  Flowers are wonderful, girls love them and I think you guys don’t mind them occasionally either :-) .  However – while the saying is you can’t have too much of a good thing I think you can have too much of the same thing.  So varying it up is important.

 

While I am going to share a few romantic ideas with you I also want to encourage you to set aside some time and let your own imagination run free.  After all you know your partner better than anyone else.  Part of loving someone is learning about them so during the time you have been together you will have learnt his or her favourite colour, food, drink, music etc etc.  Let all of that information be your inspiration!

 

Romantic Ideas

1/ Let’s say your partner’s favourite colour is purple, buy some purple post it notes take five pieces and in the top left hand corner of the first write number one of five, in the second number 2 of 5 and so on. Then write five things you love about him/her (one comment for each page).  Put these notes around the house in areas where you know they will be found.  Sit back and wait for the reaction…

 

2/ What is his or hers favourite food?  Buy a cook book that is full of the type of cuisine your partner loves.  Wrap it up and after he/she has opened it give a card with something along the lines of these words inside…I have bought this cookbook for me so I can make you the type of food you love.  Please choose a recipe, I’m cooking tonight.  This is a great gift to give first thing in the morning before your partner goes to work it creates a fantastic mood for the day.

 

3/ If you are living together and you enjoy a glass of wine from time to time chances are you purchase it from the supermarket with your groceries.  Occasionally stop in at a specialist wine store and arrive home with a bottle you have selected with the assistance of a wine expert.  This gesture is often reminiscent of what you did in the early days and they are always good memories to revisit from time to time.

 

Once you get in the habit of thinking about your relationship, planning special time together and surprised for one another the results will speak for themselves.

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What is a Romantic Gesture?

June 13th, 2009

 In a healthy relationship we are always doing kind and thoughtful gestures for our partner or spouse.  It may be making them a cup of tea in the morning, leaving the heater on in the bathroom, running an errand or picking up the dry cleaning.  The list is endless and I encourage you to take some time to think of the kind and thoughtful gestures your special someone does for you, as they are often overlooked and go un-thanked.  By taking some time to notice the things they do you can easily rectify this with a thank you, a hug or some other acknowledgement.

 

So what is the difference between these gestures and a Romantic Gesture?

 

I find asking these three questions define if what I am planning falls into the Romantic Gesture category.

 

Have I had to set aside some time to plan this?

Does it involve my husband and I spending time together or him spending time doing something he loves with my full encouragement.

Is the event, occasion or surprise I am planning about what he likes rather than what I like to do?

If I can answer yes to these three questions I know I am on the right track.

 

For example:  Last year we went to Wellington for a holiday.  I organised for us to go and watch the Phoenix play soccer (I would have rather watched paint dry).  This took some planning on my behalf, involved us spending time together and was certainly something I new he would enjoy.  All boxes ticked!

 

Conversely I love having my feet massaged and I think it would be lovely for us to have a Chinese foot spa together.  However my husband has incredibly ticklish feet so this would be a slow form of torture for him and not work as a Romantic Gesture (it would be amusing though).

 

In summary:

 

A Romantic Gesture will take some planning.  Consider what you want to do for him/her.  Take some time over this, I don’t mean days or even hours just enough time to focus on what you know they like and how you can plan something special around that.  Ensure that your plan involves things he/she loves to do or receive.  I can’t stress this enough.  Guys if you are planning a special dinner out and you choose a spot where you can watch the rugby too, I guarantee you will spoil the moment (unless she is a big rugby fan).  Equally girls if you whisk your man away for a romantic weekend and the final of his favourite sporting event is on he will not thank you for it!   

 

Once you have decided on the gesture you need to set a date and organise whatever is required for your plan to work.  If you are planning to surprise her with flowers or a midweek lunch at your favourite restaurant you may not have too much to organise but if it’s a weekend away there may be a bit more to consider like childcare, time off work, special food (make a list and don’t be afraid to ask for some help if needed). 

 

Lastly put your plan into action and if you have organised a trip away or a surprise night out give some thought to how you present your gift of time.  Maybe write a poem, send her txt clues throughout the day or make up a voucher that says what you are going to be doing and when you are going to be doing it.

 

Enjoy and remember the gesture does not always have to be large or expensive.  It is all about giving your time and using a little imagination.

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